*Thoughts*

It seems that one incident can change it all...
One time "they" will be talking..and anthr time it would be silent
I used to be patient..patient in all those actions..
BUT I was taken advantage...
I had to listen to "them"..follow "their" words
It continued for years till I realised...
I couldnt take it any longer...
Nway, without me wont make a difference..
Im jus like a passer-by...
Call when needed and left alone when in no use...
It seems that I had been far away...
Far away from "their" laughters , jokes...
Its jus not my behaviour to NOT make de first move..
BUT my heart is becoming hard to do anything..
Is it my ego?? But it had alwys been me...
I used to call, to ask..to know whats wrong..
BUT i couldnt now... Its hard..
Maybe due to the years of being TOO nice..

"They" are getting further apart...
I couldnt do anything...
It feels like..I didnt have a place in "them" anymore..
It seems that Im not in "their" existence...
Guess...it will be this way...
Its hard to have only one party to be blamed on..
and the otr thinks..its right...

It hard to leave it dat way...
BUT why does it alwys HAVE to be ME??
Do i alwys have to make the first move??
Im tired! Tired of all these!

*Results*

Gotten results for the 1st yr 3rd term..at last! Was happy wth my results...gotten 3B and 1C. hehe...glad dat i gotten Bs...though an A would be great. However, I thank GOD for helping me tru the hardness of the studies and all. Im glad dat i had passed all de subs. Now waitin for the Yr2 results...SCARY!!

Yesterday outing wth Ayang was great...minus the fact that my shoes were broken along de way. Ayang had to glue dem for me..heheh. Went to Bedok Movie theatre..coz its cheaper and we were in a budget..heheh.. $7 per tix...plus we actualli brought in..french fries and sushi in. heheh..Actually most ppl did dat...

*The Sushi*

*HIM mending my shoe*

Ayang was super sick when he send me back homey. Eyes were watery...pity him. heheh...Sorrie dear, for making you come wth me...and watch movie. Like wat we had planned..Im goin to tel the future US dat Daddy alwys get sick wen Mommy ask him to go for a movie. hehehe...Tink if mom n dad goin to go out later, i ask dem to drop me down ad his place a while and give him some food..since he is like SUPER sick and no ones at home since his family went to KL.

OKies...Off now....

*Brownie making*

Made brownie yesterday..using the box recipe. hehe...easy..and luckily it turns out well. hehe..though my mom was de one doing de mixing. Yesterday was jus a relaxing day, read up a storybook...and glad dat my condition was gettng better..though there maybe some pain goin on.
Yay! Watching Alvin n Chipmunks today! Ya..kinda late to watch it...bt i dun wan to miss the movie. So cute! Meeting Ayang after his wk..den headed off to nearby area.

Still have yet to confirm de dates of outing. For the MDIS classmates, need to confirm wth Suz first..since planning to have a picnic at sentosa bt de date is stil deciding. For u guys reading dis, I will inform asap once we had located the date k. Aliza have yet to confirm de date...and Yanling, i need to c when im free. heheh...

Okies...updates wen i get back...

*Holidayssss*

Just came back after a 5 day of wonderful Chalet memories wth my family, cuzzies, auntys and uncles...LOVE IT!!! First day...had a major bbq..with a BIG bday cake since there were 6 of us. Then had ikan bakar, sup tulang, bbq chicken, hotdog, salad, mee hoon grg and MANY more. As alwys, de december babies got sabo-ed..with whipped cream dis yer. heheh..Then play the outdoor game till abt 4am wth pressies and stuffs. Me won 3 games...hehe...Had lots of fun

Basicaly, we went swimming like..abt 3hrs! hahah..ya...evrytime wen my dad say "bila nak naik??"..each one of us..say 5mins til we didnt realise it was 3hrs we were in de sea. heheh...We played card games..and kena denda all...had to "ketok ketampi" and dance round the chair like little indians..heheh..I was in too. Also...we had lipsticks drawn to our faces when we loose any games. heheh..

Overall...IT WAS A FUN OCCASION!!! cant wait for the otr chalet thingy again!!! Yay!!!

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Went to GIANT wth mom to find dad's belated bday pressie...got him an MP3 player..since he wanted radio so much! Was very happy whn he saw de pressie. heheh..den went a lil shopping wth mom..

Not reali feeling well though...somthing happening in de body system which make me so weak. Nway....Hp it will cured soon...Haiz...Thanks AYang...for being so so concern wen im feeling so sick.

Few appointments in de next wk...meeting wth ALiza, Yanling and e MDIS classmates...need to confirm de date though....Okie..dats all for nw....

*One down*

Okies...Just had my first exam jus nw, It was a shockin mmt when i saw the essay question. I was like..Huh? which one shd i do? It was a hard decision..bt get to finish it up since i try to just put in wat i remember. Hopefully, its gona be ok..No otr comments...hehe

Oh, tomorrow is Hari Raya Haji..So to my MUSLIM blog readers...SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA. heheh..though i can confirm dat me and my otr classmates had NO mood to celebrate it. Nway, Be goin to my grdparents and my aunt's house as alwys. Be preparing the chalet pressies wth dem..for the nite of games for de cuzzies. Plus bringin my notes whereva i go.

Left wth de last topic to go..and i need to revise again. I reali hp i can pull this tru. Then be goin bowling wth de peeps after de last exam. Wheeeee~!!!

*The last wk*

Had a HPP test jus nw. Realise dat..de paper is exactly de same as the one we did in de lab. Haha..N of coz...managed to do it. hehe..Finished it like..just few minutes. Den...headed off wth Suz, TY and Fizah...with Midah driving. Send to QUeens...den saw Jezz at de station. End up went homey wth her. Oh, she bought me a card and a keychain. Thanks der, Jezz! it was nice...

Oh...in de morning..met up wth Ayang..had breakfast near my place. Reali love it..when he misses me lots..and would wan to mit me. Im just glad to have him...reali am. Though there may be ups and downs...bt i do feel..he is de ONE for me. The one who can tolerate me...can guide me...matured enough. heheh..Oh..and he was approached by a chinese family jus nw...tinking that he was a chinese. hehe..It wasnt de first time dat ppl tot he was a chinese. Ppl kept talking to him in chinese and assume he is one...

I dunno why..im feelin mushy2 today. Maybe too much listenin to love songs. Wan to let HIM know dat...I have NO regrets having him..Im lucky to have him...Im happy to be wth him...N cant wait to spend the rest of my life wth HIm...I LOVE YOU, AYANG!!

*B'day celebration wth Love*

*love*

Went out to celebrate my bday yestrday..early celebration. Ayang went to my place in de morning...Received my bday pressies! I like! Got a bag (i was reali in need of it), a pencil box, chocos and a soft toy..I like de soft toy. very cute..Thanks dear..for all de gifts.. Din expect him to buy dat many..

*The pressies!!*

Nways, we parked de bike near TM..and headed to de mrt. Headed to Hougang Mall...though i tot he wanted to go to Vivo..den..walked a bit..went to de pasar malam der..Ayang bought same hp as me. heheeh...My shoes were making me suffer! got several blisters dat we had to sit down and rest. Then headed to Orchard..went to Far east for the late lunch. walked ard...was super tired..super aching..super evrything. hahah...Legs were aching like crazy..due to de blisters. Pity ayang..had to entertain to my tiredness and pain. heheh..

*Alwys happy wth HIM*

Told him...dat nxt time..jus take de bike..and walked somewehre we usualy went. hahah..Orchard is so not de place for us...haha..coz i didnt even buy anything. We were jus basically window shopping. But it was fine..since its been a long time nway.

Had a great time...Thanks dear...I reali luve the outing minus de blisters. N to those who had wished me..THANKS a lot too!! Realli appreciate it!!

~Spirit of humanity~

(This post was forwarded from my friend..Nad..Though I myself dun have time to read it..hehe..just post it here..to let u guys have a look n read it k) *Sorrie eh Nad* hehe...

The questions i often receive is ' Why the interest in genocidal/mass attrocities crimes now?'. I admit that for a long time, the world to me is just Singapore and ASEAN. But like i mentioned in my previous post, movie Hotel Rwanda changed my life. And Rwanda's genocide happened in 1994.

This book highlights the existence of genocide even in this age and the question that i have for myself is ' Am i going to let this genocide in Darfur to be exactly like what happened in Rwanda?' Do we want to be remembered in the books of our children's history as 'People/Countries that just watch by as mass attrocities unfolds in front of their eyes?' We, the citizens of the world, made that mistake not once,but more than that. Are we going to let this be another huge mistake that will taunt us as we live our lifes? Not for me...and i'm starting small.

For those who are interested, below are the links for starters;

http://www.notonourwatchbook.com/index.html (Link to the book)

http://www.enoughproject.org/

http://www.eyesondarfur.org/

Brief Summary of what's happening

The crisis in Darfur, in western Sudan, has led to some of the worst human rights abuses imaginable, including systematic and widespread murder, rape, abduction and forced displacement. Hundreds of thousands of civilians have died as a result of both deliberate and indiscriminate attacks, and more than 2 million civilians have been forced to flee from their homes.

The situation on the ground has been plagued with renewed violence, Janjaweed attacks, and aerial bombing by the Government of Sudan's military. Currently, the Government of Sudan is resisting the UN Security Council-mandated peacekeeping operation that is desperately needed.

Amnesty representatives have met with UN, U.S. and European officials to call for their vigorous action and have pressed the governments of Chad and Sudan directly. Amnesty's global membership has also organized letter-writing campaigns and demonstrations to draw attention to the crisis.

The international community must, at long last, put a stop to these atrocities and bring relief to those who have survived but continue to suffer. Join the growing movement of citizens worldwide who are taking action for Darfur. ~ taken from http://www.eyesondarfur.org

*Time schduele*

Been a long time i last update my blog. Okies...jus to update some stuffs. Went to Expo last sat...Bro bought a lappie..heheh..and mom bought some otr stuffs. Tinking of goin der to John little sale..dis wk..one of de days. ALso...cant wait to go out wth Ayang on de 8dec...so called "a date"...been so long dat we eva go out taking the train..so decided to do dat dis sat. Miss him so much....

My revision is goin on ok...my aim to finish my PY yestrday..dint reali came tru..stil have abt 1 more topic to go. so...can stil be considered under de schduele...so okies! Be doin my HPP for abt 2 days n de rest for CB. reali hp i can do dis man...Im looking forward for de chalet...so must have determination to finish all dis...

Oh..to my fellow friends..who are de regular readers of my blog...jus wanna wish u guys " ALL DE BEST AND GOOD LUCK FOR DE EXAMS K!! We can DO it!!"..oh ya..and also to Mas.."Happy Birthday again..or i can say..BELATED BIRTHDAY since You have turn 21 yestrday!"! hahaha..