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Missing

Its been 1wk plus..since i last met Ayg and Im NOT able to mit him so soon either. Haiz...Gonna be busy with stuffs...especially helping with my bro's wedding preparation...plus He had SOME othr plans. Ho ho~ So...guess it be 2 wks plus til i get to see him on de next wkend~! Sungguh Boring sekali. But wat to do...need to save a lil money too...as not to overly spend. hehehe...

Many things occuring right now...and many things which i am realli looking forward to. reali hope dat we are able to get what we had been applying and wanting for. InsyaALLAH...if its in GOD's will...may we be able to get it. So for now....lets pray n hope...all will run smoooothly. :)

Anther thing, im REALLY praying dat i can get a JOB soon. haiz...like i say in my previous post...ppl had been asking me...hw come i haven get a job yet and bla3x. Its NOT like as if I NVR apply for one....its jus NO one call me up. Lucky my parents undrstds....told me nvm..hopefully by end of dec....someone WOULD call me up for an interview. haiz.....This SOOO reminds me of my after-poly years....dat I cant find a job..and eventually i decide to study after dat. hahaha...n dis time, i told my dad..." Abah, if adek tak dapat kerja lagi...adek sambung blajar lagi..boleh?" hahahahahaha......TERUK la my parents lagi. ahahahaha....had to supply me money for my studies AGAIN. hahahahaa.....bt nola...Brain need rest. hahahah

This few days....guess i be jus slacking at homey. This coming sunday..hanging out with my dearest MDIS clanz...been awhile i hadnt mit all of dem up. wheee~~~!! nice. :)

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Missing You so bad....
Looking at our pics are de only way dat i can release my missing mode to you...
There goes again abt undrstdng n sacrifices....
But I guess.....
With out dem....Nothing works....
So...although its HARD.....
Im glad dat I am able to hear ur voice evry single day...
Its better den NONE....

Its worth de wait...
For I shall be able to spend time with YOU in de next wkends...
Bro's wedding and family gathering...
Endure endure.... :)

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Hectic Dayzzz

Went over to SGH again ystrday to see my grddad....He was awake...and able to talk with us though he still is in a weak condition. So sweet of him..when he say dat he was worried when he know i was sick..as in due to my wisdom teeth op. Nwys...talk to him awhile...and since he was REALLI wanting to go out frm de hospital..he was acting like as if he is SOOO strong. Even show my dad n bro de way he exercise by blowing and moving2 his arms. hehe....Reali hope he is able to recover fast. InsyaALLAH....

Jus dat....his heart is stil weak..as wat was diagnosed as...Atrial fibrillation...where his heart is pumping irregularly with very SLOW heartbeat. 4 stents had been inserted into his arteries....since there are stil blockage and since the heart valves have collapsed allowing blood n oxygen to mix...and dat is already considered DANGER. N his lungs are watery too. So reali hope...all wil be OK.

Went dinner with GrdMtr, uncle n wifey and my family at Bedok...b4 sending dem homey. It was nice..when we talk abt past old2 stories..where me n bro were very small and living at my grdparents house. heheh...de funny2 stories..and all. Nice. :)

us with our dearest granny

my famileeee

hubby n wifey...

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Anther 2 more weeks to My Bro's wedding~~~ Wheee~!! Super duper cant wait~! Mom have yet to sew hers n my baju kurung for de DAY~! N i have yet to buy new contact lenses~!! decoration n stuffs have been bought....N guess...starting frm dis coming wk..gonna be busy beeee... Helping Mom with de cooking preparation n stuffs. and of coz...de decoration of de dulangzzzz....wheee~!!

Yesh~! N im gonna be de Pengantin driver assistant. HAHAHA....n yeah, de driver is gonna be Ayang...who else. hehehe....Sooo cant wait for dat. May the wedding be running smoothly and all. InsyaALLAH. wheeee~!!!! A special day awaits for my dearest Brother and my lovely KAk Ima. Muakz~!!! It will be a GREEEEENNN wedding affair for My family side....neat~!

de soon to be wedded hubby n wifey.... nice~!

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As for my normal daily routine...it has been de same all de way. N im stress out now...coz NONE called me for a job interview except de nonsense interview i had...last monday. hah~! N time is running VERY de fast..and I have yet to COLLECT money~!!! haiz....reali raeli reali hope i can get a JOB soon. Totally Broke right now..and oni depends on de "monthly" salary given by my bro. HAHAH~! :P

My wisdom tooth area...is recovering well. Great dat it din hurt alot like wat many ppl used to encounter. Lucky for me...it was A-Ok. Jus dat der is still a lil swollen-ness on my cheek...though Ayg say dat...it didnt reali show coz my cheeks are already chubby...so not much diff~! ish~! hahaha....

Besides dat.....guess I will jus continue my boring life ahead...though Im happi to jus stay at homey...but still....i need MONEY....to shop and many2 savings. De DAY will be reaching soooon...w/o u even realising it. tsk tsk.

OKies....off now....gonna eat de anti-swelling meddy... :x

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Tooth Operation

Finally...after sooo many days of cancellation, I finally went to de dentist to have my wisdom tooth extracted. Mom took leave to send me off to de dentist...since Dad was wking. So headed there....and i reali tot oni 1 tooth is extracted out....BUTTTT......de dentist told us dat de wisdom tooth had affect the otr tooth beside it...and the HOLE is getting deeper into de nerves. So we could either pull it off or have to go to a specialist to know on hw to save de otr tooth bt NOT 100% guarantee it can be recover back.

So after much thinking, i had to extract out de 2 teeth at de bottom and to prevent de upper wisdom tooth frm hiting de gum below....he had to extract out de upper one too..SO ended up with 3 teeth extraction!!! I sooo can feel de nudge where he pull it out. though i cant feel de pain..bt can feel a lil pressure when he pull it out. N i saw him putting de stitches too. HO HO~!

N now...im BOGEY at de behind tooth area.hahahah....bt lucky we did it nw..coz my gums are swelling and de teeth are getting more infected. Phew~ N next tuesday, i had to go dentist again to take out de stitches.

Dad went homey early and fetch us home. Bought chicken porridge for me. N i have yet to eat it. N here i am....still biting hard on my gauze. Scared to take it out.....and put new one in back. Many2 blood lar. hehehehe....Nwys...be doin it laters....Hope de pain wld increase as much. I can feel it getting to me soon....and lucky de sweeling had subsided. B4 dat....it was RAEALLLLI big...make me even more CHUBBIER~! hahahahah

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Mom n Dad had to rush to SGH....since Grddad is having anthr heart op tday....n de latest news were...dat he was breathless.. N im here at home...cant even go der to visit him. hu hu~ Parents told me to jus stay at home...coz scred dat my tooth pain will be unbearable...so here i am....waiting for their updates.Hope my grddad wld be ok. insyaALLAH.

Cant talk much now.....can oni chat tru MSN...or sms. hehehe.... so guys...jus msg me if anything yar. heheheh....okies...off~! the anesthetic is reducing...my left brain is aching...hu hu...... :P

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Nonsense Interview

Tday, went to the interview at a Pharmaceutical company at Changi area. A crappy interview i must say. A chinese girl b4 me was also from de same uni..as wat was told by the manager. The Mgr actuali open the exit main door for de gerl after de interview...and actuali hold on the door till de gerl went off. N when it was my turn, she jus open de office room door...and say, " You know wheres de exit, right? jus walk straight back".....hah. Not oni dat....

I was also asked to sign an agreement form which states....dat i could NOT apply any otr jobs in a company which is doing somethg similar with the recent company....for 2 yrs after i quit de job. Like HELLLLOOO~ I wonder...if i were to get atr places...and w/o realising dat its de same biz like dis one, wat am I supposed to do? immediately reject the job offer? If like dat, i wonder wt jobs i shd take....if i quit this company. haha~!

Den the next thing was...she ask me what is my expected salary...which i eventually say 1.9K. N she ask why must she so called give me dat amt of money. I answered dat....now even poly students are having 1.8k..and since im an Honors deg student and having previous wk experience, i wanted a lil bit more frm dat range. and guess wat she say?!! "Your degree oni 2nd class 2nd division.....Average ppl will have 1st div....urs are jus 2nd div...dats y i ask u...wldnt u tink u cd do better den dis".....crap~! ONLY STUPID PEOPLE wld say..thy dun wan to do better den a 1st div. and what does she mean by dat...dat im a BELOW AVERAGE student...which i am nt eligible to even get 1.9k. Maybe LOWER wld be fine for me, is it??

After all dat, I totally have no interest...She ask me if i wan to ask her anything..and i jus kept numb.told her nothing..dats abt it. Crappiness.I dun even bother already....n i tink de agency lady knows im pissed too...after she ask me on de phone. crap la...even if i get de job, i wld reject it. No point.....crappiness....

P.S: Thnks Ayg for sending me to de company jus nw...and to vent my irritated feelings IMMEDIATELY after de interview. hehehe

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Silencing....


I dunno why I dun reali have mood these days...maybe due to de "Upcoming" thingy which happens each mth. hehe...At sme point, I jus wanna hide myself and NOT talk ad all. BUT it wld never happen...coz i miss talking to my dearest besties...(u know who u r). Even wen we dun reali talk in MSN....few words here n der make me feel better. Hmm...I dunno why im a lil bit moody. Ayg even tot I look sad when I met him jus now...which I din even tink I was looking sad. hehe...

Nwys, seeing Ayg soo tired and hectic dis few days is NOT good. N hearing what is happening in his wkplace...Haiz...I reali pray dat evryting wld jus run smoothly. So...now...lets jus hope n pray. Hmm...besides dat....Nothing much.

Im jus feeling down...which i dun even know what i am down at. hehe..weird, i know. Guess...dis is de mmt where i jus feel dat keeping quiet is de best. Keeping what i tink...all inside me. I cant be bothered with things happening around me right now. I jus glance it away...

Guess......The moody-ness sinks in me at this mmt...May it dissappear in de wind......

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Changes....



At some point, I feel that I've changed....Though the tolerance level is still up der...Im feeling dat that level will sooner be down below. Im nt like hw i am back den...Tolerate evry single thing with reali good patience. But I guess....things happening ard me had made me realise that certain points are useless to be patient at. Being pissed off easily was not the IN-thing for me....but it began to build in me now...for I get pissed even in a small matter..and I know its NOT good.

Maybe due to certain things which used to take advantage of my patience dat i bcame as hw i am right now. Hmmm.....At some pt, it does help me to speak out myself....Guess I have to control dat inner me. Balancing the good and de bad aura...as to ensure no one gets hurt in the process.

N those who have know me well....thy wld knw dat wen i dun fancy someone...It wld take FOREVA for me to accept dat person. yea...dats me....The bad side of me. Though I wish to pull all aside...there will be a tinge of "NO ENTRY" within dat space of mine. But no matter wat, at times....the feeling of sympathy creep in me...which i will tend to give in.

Therefore, i guess....i should just ignore any unwanted issues. Since de more, Im involved...the more Im getting attached to such things and I dun want dat to happen. I guess being neutral is de best way now....No hard feelings..NOTHING. Jus me with clear mind. No comments....NOTHING. I guess.....issues will nvr end...therefore, we shd jus play along and to prevent any bleeding inside.

Maybe by den, the OLD me will slowly add inside....and I may not get pissed off or angry easily. I will NOT be bother with any typical issues...which I find it sooo irritating at times. But then again...THATS LIFE. Life will not be running smoothly....Thats de fact. No matter what u try to prevent, it just kept appearing but with a different touch.

For now.....I am just erasing what eva factors inside my head.......Erasing......BLANK.

Last weekends were full of Love between each one of us.

Saturday (7/11)

The day we all been waiting for....Alhamdullilah. It was de Best memories eva....spending de great time of our lives tgther...From meeting each otr in de morning for breakfast..to heading to Raffles convention centre to registration to helping each othr into our robes...sitting accordingly and finally walk on de stage to receive our cert. N it was even more touching when my loved ones are der to c me.

To be there with my fellow frens....were very memorable..though i wished all de MDIS clanz are der. But den.....no matter wat...we wil alwys have each otr in our hearts. :) Glad to enjoy each otr company dat day.....took lotz of pics and all.

All de hard work reali pays alot.....Doesnt matter whether u are wking or not...i guess...it still depends on ur dignity in achieving what u had alwys wanted. N alhamdullilah....all had been achieved. Rmbr de time when I wanted to wk n study....which I totaly couldnt handle...till my parents ask me to jus conc on studies. Therefore, i do envy those who are working and yet was fine with their studies...like my dearest Pinkie Fren who had been wking full time. And also those who have done a good job while thy are wking. :)

my parents...my support in my studiessss

My dearest love who is der for me alwys...

our family combine...

i LOVE u besties~!!!!! muakz~!!!!

throwing our mortar board...

After all the celebrationz....de next place we went were MARINA BARRAGE. Was extremely happi when Abang n Kak Ima able to join in. It was the Happiest mmt of my life. Cam-whoring away...with my Lovely complete family. hehehe....

Love dis one most..each one of dem..do play a part in my life...and had been my support all this while...:)

Just wanna say...thnk you for the support to my loved ones....and thnks to my lovely besties as well as de othr buddies for making my sch years an exciting and memorable journey of my life. i will know forget evry single crappiness which comes frm each one of u. Muakz~!!! I thnked GOD for allowing me to know u guys dis long.....treasure de frenship as u can...coz we nvr knw...when we are reali in need....thy are de ones who could help u too. :)

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Sunday (8/11)

The day where we decide to celebrate our Anniversary. hehee.....We tot of making it a lil different dis year....so we plan our date at Carousel...Lots of food to choose frm...But guess.....it doesnt reali fit on our tastebuds...but guess...at least we did try it once...hehehe...if nt, kept tinking hw it is like. Bt nwys...jus enjoy de atmosphere with Ayg...

Headed down to Airport to jus chill...since bth of us were VERY tired to walk2....and since de weather is HOT....decide to jus relax at an air-conditioned area...and Airport de best lah. heheh...relax at Ya Kun. nice~!!

Exchanged our gifts....Gave him a self made "book"...with editted picz and quotes..heheh...Hope he liked it.. and For me, he gave me 10 lovely flowers each representing each year we had been tru tgther...and Those flowers are REALLY special to me (Ayg, u know what i mean ah)...hehehe. In the card....it was memorable...when he ask if i stil rmbr de FIRST gift he gave me for my bday...

N of coz...i rmbr it clearly...A Heart-shaped Musical Box which i was sooo excited to see..and guess wat...i wind n wind de key MANY MANY Times...n de musical key eventually cant be wind anymore. hahaha....it was SPOILT after 3 days...hahaha...due to my CONSTANTLY winding the thing. hahaha... N after all these years...he decided to give me a NEW musical box..to reminiscent those years...and Im loving it...BUT try nt to wind it many2 times..wait spoil again. hehehe...

He alwys worried if i were to NOT like de gifts he gave....but...each time he gives me...Im very happi..No matter hw small or big the thing is...I reali appreciate it alot..since it came from his heart..and I knew he reali meant it a lot. It was indeed a nice day to celebrate.....a short but nice n sweet celebration. We were sooo tired...dat we went back by 6pm. hehehe...yeah..VERY TIRED indeed.

our lunch

:)

de cold seafood area

sushiiizzz

headed down to airport in de evening

had a light meal.....relaxxx

HIS gifts for me.... :)

Now...10 years after....its a special memories of having a musical box back den. hehehhee....love it... :)

Nwys.....wateva it is...Im glad we have met each other...and I have no regrets in having u in my life.. :) Love......

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10 years of Us

4/11/1999

The day where it changes my life...
The day where YOU ask me de question and I agree to it...
YOU were my FIRST and Im glad dat It stays dis way till now...

We were both strangers...whom dun even know each otr existed
BUT guess GOD allow us to Meet and became frens and de rest is History...

Still rmbr OUR first date at East Coast....
Where Someting happen...
Make me sooo PAISEY~! HAHAH.....of all days..it happen on OUR first date. heheh

We were both young back then...
We had different characters....trying to get used to each otr
It was NOT a smooth journey in the early years...
That I can say...
It was HARD for us to ensure we are stable as partners...

BUT Alhamdullilah....
Thru all dat times....we became stronger and tend to undrstd each other feelings
Im glad to HAVE an understanding guy who nvr Kongkong me at all
YOU are alwys there as my support in every decision i make...
In life or in studies...

This year is SPECIAL for us...
For its been 10years that I had been with YOU...
Time do fly fast....
10 wonderful years filled with several emotions...sadness, anger, happiness
But all in all....it was a special journey to be spending with YOU
It makes it even more special when we are celebrating this day as Fiance/Fiancees

YOU will alwys remain special in my heart...
We are just like other normal couples...who had our arguments and misunderstandings..
BUT im glad dat We remain strong with evry tests given...
There wld surely be many more tests given to us in future...
InsyaALLAH...we may pull tru it all....

I thanked YOU for giving YOUR love to me....
I thanked GOD for meeting US togther....

YOU are my dearest love...
Whom Im very proud of....
My love for YOU grows each day of my life...
And May it grows in years to come....

I LOVE YOU, SUHANDI (AYANG) :)
Happy 10th Year Anniversary, Luve.....


P.S: Also wanna thank my besties who had been with me all these years...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I love u guys too....