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Bitter Sweet 2009

2009 had been a bitter sweet year for me. Many special and sad memories will remain in my mind....

From friends engagement all year round....starting from Maria, Emi, Midah and Fizah to complete de 2009 engagement events. hehehe... Glad dat all went smoothly for dem..and happi to be there to share their happy moments of their lives. :)

Not only dat, My dearest bestie gave birth to a lovely little princess : Arissa Adriana (my god-daughter) whom I have YET to see her. Miss bth de mommy and herself. hehehe...Was so happi for her and Zahid. :)

sooo in love with dis pic....she smilezzz

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School was EXTREMELY hectic...with final term exams and thesis. Stying all night long...jus to make sure all were done properly..togther MSN-ing with Suzzie till late night. Gonna miss all dat...though it was a tiring thingy. N to top it up...graduating with my dearest classmates is a BONUS for me. After all these 4 years of hard work and all, It had actually paid off....Glad to be able to wear de graduation gown as well as happi to share the precious mmts with my family and frens. Its an EVENT dat i wld ALWAYS rmbr.

Love dis one most..each one of dem..do play a part in my life...and had been my support all this while...:)

Had my wisdom tooth extraction after years of waiting...had 3 teeth out..but lucky dint feel any pain At all. Lucky Lucky me.

2009 was also such a memorable year for me and Ayg. The year we got engaged just after i finished my final exam...de engagement which was so called last minute arrangement..hehe...GOD is great. After all de decision we made....till we give up on dis n dat...but it actually HAPPENS. GOD had planned out for us..and Im glad dat it happen dis year. Alhamdullilah. Though it was a small event, im VERY happi to share it with my family, relatives and friends.

I LOVE YOU GUYSSSS

Besides dat, this year marks our 10th anni tgther. A wonderful 10 years with Ayg....with lots of happy, sad, anger, irritated moments we shared. heheeh....Im glad to have him as my dearest soulmate...and once again i THANKED GOD for meeting us tgther. :)

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It was also de year where i have a new member in de family. A sister in law. hehehe.... Was very glad dat bro's n Kak ima's wedding went well...A touching mmts where i knew dat my bro wnt be at home all de time...layaning my karenah. But im glad to have an understdng sis-in-law who alwys der wen i need bth of dem. Thanked GOD for giving me such a complete nice family. AMIN~~

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Besides the nice and wonderful events happening within dis year....I was saddened by de loss of 2 individuals who are very dear to my life.

First was my dearest buddy, Yanling....someone who was suffering frm cancer. de person whom i alwys mit up once or twice a year....exchange gifts and telling our stories tgther. Miss all dat...and I was planning to treat her once i graduated...bt guess it will NEVER happen. May her soul rest in peace.

Secondly was my beloved grdfather....who had left us last 2 days. A shocking thingy since we tot he was quite ok...after his heart operation. But we were wrong. N to hear frm grdmom dat grddad had told her dat he could nt live long and some signs happening....state de high possibility of him leaving us. It was a sad mmt...coz I was close to him where bth me n my bro stays at their house eva since we were young. And de night of his passed away....went back to his house and it touches me again....where i rmbr hw we bth chooses our cups and glasses tgther and all dat. We had our mmts and all....... To see my grdmother alone der makes me even more sad. Guess...it will take a lil bit of time to put all de pieces back though it wnt be perfect...but it wld so called cover de "holes" in wat eva possible way. Semoga roh nya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di golongan orang yg beriman. Gonna miss my Datok... :'(

memories with my beloved grd father...

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2010 will be anther year of surprises i guess.....which we all will nvr know what will in store for us. But wat eva it is, i hope it will be a smooth journey for us to go tru. insyaALLAH.... 2009 is de year of happiness and sadness for me n my family....May next year be a better year for us. :)

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Sick Sick

Just as I was starting my exercise routine yet back again....now im sick...and cant continue. hu hu~ Guess de MILO drink and cold weather triggered my asthma attack. Haiz...been awhile...dat I had a BAD asthma attack. N ystrday was de day. Woke up...start coughing and kept wheezing. Using inhaler dun work at all. SInce I cant even breathe de medication fully, guess it does nt work at all. So yar....yestrday was a terrible WHEEZING day. Sooo weak...where I was breathing fast..plus wheezing plus i cant breathe properly. Haiz....And fever doesnt help at all.

Tday, was a lil better...though I still cant breathe properly...and de ulcers in de mouth make swallowing painful. tsk tsk. So yar...a lil better BUT nt fully recovered....due to coughing2...and a lil breathing difficulties. Ate Mom's pills.....to reduce de asthma.

Went out with Ayg awhile...since need to book de chalet thingy. Walked a lil.....i was short of breath. Had to sit a COUPLE of times.....wen finally, we jus sat at McD for a meal...though i wasnt even feeling like eating. So shared a meal with Ayg. Went to basement...to collect de polar cake...and we headed homey. A short outing...coz Ayg saw dat I was reali out of breath....so had to head home early. But glad to mit him up even for AWHILE. :)

Glad to mit him even for awhile :)

Oh, due to my NOT eating periods dis days...been loosing weight a lil. hah~! Yeah a NOT so HEALTHY way to loose wgt. tsk tsk....bt den again, wat to do....din eat much...no mood to eat.... :P

Tmrw plan had to be cancelled....coz I knew i cant walk much..and reli need rest A LOT. coz...salangkan tday walk a lil cant tahan..tmrw...if gonna go wdlands and watch movie..sure FENGSAN. hehehe...so gonna postponed de outing. Sori Suz n Pinkie fren.

my beloved parents~!! SELAMAT HARI LAHIR~!!

Wanna also wish bth my parents and Ayg's dad, SELAMAT HARI LAHIR~!!! Since all of dem born in december...including meeeee~!! ahaha...of coz i cant wish hapi bday to myself, rite? so yar. hehehe...Semoga pjg umur n murah rezeki. AMIN~!

Gonna rest at homey de next few days......Need FULL recovery........

. Things playing ard in the mind


I know I had been blabbering about jobs, jobs AND jobs. Guess....now is de time for me to wait. Had been applying DOZEN of jobs...though I din apply those wth shift works. heheh..NOT my kind of job to be working at night. No No....

About 2 more years....for de SPECIAL day..insyaALLAH. N like wat ppl say...its GONNA be fast. N once i have started working....soooo gonna save A LOT each mth. Many things to survey...though there are already some bridal and catering services in my mind. Just need to go to the shop to ask for more details...BUT....i guess it will be done most probably nxt year. Have yet to survey dis and dat...book here n there. Many2 things to look upon to. And all need MONEY. hu hu~

Besides dat, am waiting for de News...end of Jan. Reali hope we could get it...insyaALLAH. If it is meant to be...it will be. So i jus hope n pray dat we could get de good news....

Things had been quite "cold" past few days. I realli dunno why Im easily pissed off dis days..and showing bad temper to Ayg...BUT im glad dat Ayg is so called immune to my NONSENSE behaviour. hehehe....He had been sooo patient with me...thnkies so much for layan-ing my crappy mood past days. hehehe.....Realised it like tday, where I shdnt have acted like I din know him at all. Bad Bad....hehe....Im back to my normal self now. :P

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Abg n Kak Ima will be coming back from their Honeymoon tmrw~!! wheee~!!! miss dem lotz~! even MIMI miss my bro...she kept going up to de table where we put de wedding pic...look at it..and sleep in frnt of de frame. hehehe...guess...she miss him too.

Mom was sick ystrday....couldnt breathe due to her asthma. Ended up....went to TTSH....where Mom was given Ventolin inhalation to reduce her asthma...2 times. Lucky she was a lil ok....coz if it was de 3rd time, she had to be admitted ystrday. Gotten 2 days MC.....so now restie2 at homey.

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Im starting back my running regime...wanna start jogging behind my house area. WAnna looose weight...after some people commented abt hw much I have gained...and also...I feel more lethargic and getting asthma many2 times dis days. So not only due to ppl comments...but also due to my health, i guess. So yap yap....gonna start loosing all back again. hu hu~

N also after wat i heard about bridal costumes where u need to pay more (hidden fees) if they had to alter to a bigger size plus less choices...tsk tsk...gonna have more determination to loose it more more. hehe....So exercising back~!!! wooo hoo~!!

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So now....many things to look upon to:
- Saving money for de upcoming years - Loosing weight - Pray hard...hope to get a job soon n de gd news for US - Start surveying n booking de essential thingys most prob by middle of next year

Hope all goes as planned. :)

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Status is NOT important

Still rmbr de FIRST gift given by Ayg....
A small musical box which I was so engrossed with...which ended up Spoilt 3 days after...
Since I had wind n wind AND wind it a LOT of times....
It was a simple gift but it meant a LOT to me...

He was alwys scared dat I wouldnt like de gifts he gave....
We were still schooling wen we started dating...therefore, money was spend wisely depnd on de pocket money...
I knew...evry gift he gave is frm his heart...
Therefore, it din matter to me..on hw much it costs and all.....

Each year...each gift....was alwys accompanied by de worried-ness dat I wont like it...
But de fact was I alwys appreciate wat is given..no matter hw big or small....
Yeah....Most people DO have expensive gifts and all....dat I couldnt deny....
But den again, It all dpends on each affordability....
Of coz, you wouldnt wan to burden ur love on somthing u want soo much n u knew he cldnt afford it...

I guess....undrstdng each othr...plays a main factor...
And comparing with otr couples are sooo NOT the way....
Some ppl have higher income den otrs...and if thy cld afford it....its their rezeki...

I knew....no matter wat....if you have NO high expectations
You wont get dissapointed...
Be neutral....
B4 U even be with de one u love...you wld have known hw he is and all....
N to demand dis n dat frm him...is totally unfair...

But den again....some people do look upon status...
Guess dats de reality.....
Some like to boast as to what thy wd got and all....
Nwys, it depends on each couple....if u can afford it, why not.....

I cant deny dat at sme pt, I do wan dis n dat....
who wouldnt, right?
But each time, I see him wking soo hard for our future...
It brings me back to reality dat I shdnt burden him further....

N having my Dad's advise in my mind all de time...
I knew dat I shdnt ask toooo much from HIM....
My dad alwys say...
" JANGAN SELALU MINTAK NI MINTAK TU...KALAU TAK MAMPU, JANGAN PAKSA "

Nver look down on people...
No matter hw high ur education or job is....
DO NOT BOAST around to people...
And I will alwys kept dat in mind...insyaALLAH... :)

To see hw my family used to be last time....till now...
I guess we can be hw we are nw....if we compromise with each otr...
DUN expect to get all what u want....unless you are SUPER rich...hehe...
Den again....its stil stick to YOU and UR partner...

InsyaALLAH.....
No matter wat, GOD will alwys be there for you....during ur hard n gd times...
Im glad dat even I may not lead a luxurious life or surrounded with expensive gifts...
I thanked GOD...for the way I am living now...
A simple life which I am looking forward to share with....HIM
InsyaALLAH...in 2 years time... :)

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Life goes on...

And so....the last weekend had been a wonderful event in my life....where Abg and Kak Ima wedding had been running smoothly..though there are a lil glitches...bt to tink abt it...which wedding wnt have any glitches, rite? hehehe...n im glad all went well... With the akad nikah and all...alhamdullilah.

I really wanna thnked those who have came to de wedding...as well as those who have helped out in de preparation since Friday....especially the egg factory, sweets factory...and to de cooking of dishes for de saturday event. (Hani...i have yet to give ur bunga telur n sweetz). hahaha....

Guess...de days b4 de wedding, teared up a lot...coz i know dat I wld miss my bro A LOT. No one to accompany and crapping ard with me. N when ppl say dat I will be all alone at home...dat makes me even more sad. hu hu~ bt den again...like i say b4...life goes on. Abg has a new responsibility as a hubby to kak ima...and I will alwys pray for dem bth.

The ending of de wedding..was emotional...where my auntz hug de pengantins and all. Hehe..i DUN hug my bro though.....Hugs n kiss to kak ima...and i gt a lil teary..especially wen Bro say " JAGA DIRI" to me. hu hu~ It was a lil hard for me to let go...bt dad advise me....its abt time....dat My bro has his own life to move on.

Im quite Ok now...guess.....it will take a lil more time...for me to reali used to all this. N each time, Abg and Kak Ima came to de house...i will be VERY happie. Maybe some ppl dun undrstd hw i feel...wondering..wats de BIG deal when my bro n kak ima came to de house...BUT I know....Im jus a younger sister who somtimes need attn from my big bro n kak ima or else...i feel soooo lonely. Adek manja la katakan. hehehe.... N having Kak ima as my sis-in-law who knows hw i feel.....i am very glad abt it. N i Thanked GOD for meeting Bth Abg and Kak Ima...and making Kak Ima be a part of my family...

I pray for both Abg n Kak Ima...a happie marriage till eternity....and May I have many2 nieces and nephews soon~!!!! hahahaha......Muakz to you both~!! SAYANG AWAK BERDUA!!! :)

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Life without Bro in de house

Another few more dayz to my bro's BIG day....
Its somthing I really look forward to...but at de same time, a tinge of sadness feels me up...
Im gonna miss my brother...A LOT...
Its seldom for me saying dat..or i can say RARELY...i say I MISS MY BRO. hah~!

Guess...life must go on....
He will have a family to build up with his otr half....
Im very happy for him and my dearest future sis-in-law, Kak Ima

At some pt, I realised dat...after this weekend...
He wont be around at de house....
He wont be sleeping at my room...
He wont be der to talk to me about hw he feels after de big day and all
No one to disturb me and talking crappy with me...
No one who is gonna watch cartoons with me..and laugh tghther....
No one who alwys there for me to nag about...
He wont be here at my room...talking about stuffs...
No one I could complain my nonsense thkings to
He wont be der to help me wash dishes and hang de clothes..hehe...

I dunno why...but I guess...I will MISS him a lot...
My Brother who tolerates his lil sister ALL the time...
NEVER scold me and all....
I guess I will MISS the noisyness in house when he is around...
Told my dad dat Its gonna be boring w/o him here...
Which my dad says....he will accompany me...when my bro is nt here already.
He says its Ok....dats life...sometimes u gt to let it go..and nt stick with it alwys...

I guess...I am VERY used to have my bro around me...
I dunno why...I am very emotional evrytime i tink of it....
Im teary eyed now...and I reali dun wan to break down on de wedding day itslf.
hu hu~ really gonna try to control my tears...

I will alwys pray for the happiness of my bro and Kak Ima....
May their love stay foreva strong till de rest of their lives...
And as for me...I have to deal with it sooner or later....

But wateva it is....
I know Im GONNA MISS my brother a lot~~~!!!
ADEK sure Miss ABANG~!! :(