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Unexpected Twist

Yestrday....was a busy day. Went out in de morning....followed Mom n dad to settle de imp stuffs b4 headed off to My late grdmtr's house...to spring clean with my family, aunts..uncle and cuzzin. Though we oni managed to clean up...a LIL area....it was pleasing to be with de whole family. It was pretty much Ok...until we saw de pressie which was meant for my bro n kak ima on their wedding day. It had been quite awhile.....whre my grdmthr kept saying dat my late Grdftr had buy dem somthing and wrapped it with newspaper...but dey have nt taken it or even see it yet UNTIL ystrday. What was more touching was......it was NOT wrapped by newspaper...It was nicely wrapped with a Blue wrapping paper with heart balloons pictures and CONGRATULATIONS wordings. n was covered with newspaper at one corner....to prevent any dust collection. Haiz.....A very touching thingy. We din expect dat. He actuali went to buy and search for de special pressie and wrapped it nicely. Guess it will uncover some things which will touch de heart evrytime we come to clean de house....I MISS DEM. :)

Life is pretty much de same....Basically jus hanging out at home..and following mom n dad to places. A lot of "outings" sure will be needed in dis period of time.

Cant wait for de Movie date dis coming Wednesday. Been a while since we watched movie tgther.....i tink it had been more den half a year or so. And to be told...He had booked de tix. heheh...dats sooo different of him...coz he dun normally do dat. nice. Guess some things which are not being done in a normal routine and was done once in awhile....Unexpected But nice..A small thing done cld turn out pleasing in de eyes.... :)

Heading off........

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To be Loved...

Im blessed....To be loved...and surrounded by my dearest family, Ayg and dearest besties. The ones who had alwys been der for me...all this years...when Im happi, worried, sad and angry. hehe...Basically this post is specially for u guys.

My family....who alwys hear my rants and all..giving me advise and provide a listening ear. To have such a supportive family....Im reali blessed. Especially wen Im jobless and all, dey are not being persuasive and all.... i mean..i had done my part..so lets wait for rezeki to come. Also...abg and kak ima...who may nt be staying here...but Im alwys looking forward to dem coming to my place...updating dem with new stories and all. Just making me feel happi wen dey are present. Lots of laughters and all....basically all my worries and sadness will flush away...weneva dey come by. Nice~ :)

Ayang...who had been there basically in every thing i do. The one who had been VERY supportive in wat i do. N being a sensitive, lembik, stubborn fiancee I AM.....he seriously had de patience to entertain me. N i know....HE could bimbing me and all in future. We are not perfect couple....and Im glad we managed to see our imperfectness and try to change for de better...in every ways we can. N i alwys pray dat our jodoh akan berkekalan till de rest of our lives. AMIN~~

Besties....YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE....You guys are my LOVE. The ppl who knws wats going on with my life...the ppl who are there wen I realli need someone to talk to..and give me pendapat and all. Especially wen it comes to personal thingy....feels open to talk abt it to de ones Im seriously close with. N im glad dat in every topic we talked.....we sees in different perception and not onli sided to one party. UNLESS...its seriously OBVIOUS. hah! N yap......everytime...my heart feels a lil uncomfy or upset abt certain thing...u guys jus knw abt it...w/o me even telling it yet.

Therefore, here....i wanna thank GOD for giving me such wonderful ppl to be with. I realli appreciate wat you guys do.....all these years..and I wish de best for all of us...no matter wat...love life, working life...social life...evrything. Like i had said to most........I will be GLADLY happi...wen Im surrounded by my loved ones....on THAT DAY. :D

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Loving memory of my Love...Grandmother

100 days after my grdfthr left us all....and 4hrs after we send her off to airport for CHINA trip holiday, my dearest Grdmtr (GM) whom we love sooo much..went away foreva. A shocking BUT true event. It was a seriously shock event for me n my family...

At 930pm...headed off to GM’s house..fetch her n my aunt. Took pics under de block..laugh2 here n der...we headed off to Airport..where we waited for few hrs. Chit chat...laugh n laugh...and take pics..its like evryting was SOOOOO super super happy day. N to c my GM so cheery and lively...was reali someting pleasing. She seriously look very bright and sooo nice.

De flight took off at 2am…and dey went in at 12am. We den headed homey…and 4hrs after all dat…got woken up by a call frm aunt saying dat GM had collapsed and flight to china had detour to Bangkok for emergency landing. And a short mmt after dat…..we got a msg….saying my GM had passed away. Shocking and Unexpected.

I thanked GOD dat her body was able to be brought back to spore on de day itself…which eventually reach my home at 1.30am…and we had to stay awake de whole night..reciting prayers for her. Its like taking turns until..me and Kak Ima and Mom cant take it..which we eventually fall asleep abt 3am+. So de guys…My bro, Dad and Ayg…stayed up..till morning.

We just met her up few hrs back…and it happens so fast dat she left us all. She was supposed to stay at my place after she came back from China…but it all didn’t happen. N I still have her pics in my hp de day we were on de way to de airport…but guess it will jus be staying in my hp for memories. Not to be published at all... I rmbred about wat I had planned out for her wen she stays with us….cook dishes and all dat…but Im glad she managed to eat my first n last dish I cooked for her..where she ate it in de airport…and it was MAGGI GORENG.

N de most touching thing was…she alwys says she wants to stay at our place…dun matter where she will be placed..she can sleep at de living room…ad de kitchen..as long as she stays with us...which of coz we wldnt placed her on such areas. plan to stay over after china..although we pestered her to come b4 dat…she refused. N to c her body placed on our living room….seriously saddens de whole thing where its like….she IS sleeping der. And not oni dat…..Her burial lot number was also OUR BLOCK NUMBER. How coincidence can dat be. Its like…she want to stay here so much…bt guess…der are some things related to us after she passed.

But b4 all dis…der were signs…which oni can be seen after all this had happen. Kept saying abt my late grdfather…EVRY SINGLE TIME we met. N like most ppl say..She LOVES my grdftr sooo bad..dat wen he left…she felt VERY lonely. Seriously we din expect it to be dis fast.

Alhamdullilah..all went well….till her burial process. Few days had gone..but weneva I tink of her….I still cry..coz Im soo close to her…she take care of me n bro eva since we were young..and to see her off in a shocking way. Dats seriously sads me…but Seriously to be honest…WE WERE REALI REALI in a happi mode…on dat airport day. Its like….my GM wans to see us cheery n happi…b4 she went away. Having us entertaining her…on her last day.

The impact is sooo deep….dat I cant get over it so soon. Guess it will take a very long time….A petite…loving grdmother…whom I dearly LOVE. Semoga roh datuk2 and nenek2 ku..dirahmati ALLAH dan ditempatkan di golongan org2 yg beriman. AMIN~

Lastly, wanna thnked you guys who have come…who have send me warm wishes and called me up to ask abt hw im coping. Realli appreciate it all. I couldn’t thanked you enough. Hanya ALLAH sahaja …dpt membalasnye.

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Neutral Feeling

Guess life is pretty much the same....evry now n den. Some ppl ask de same question as to whether I had gotten a job. But wat can i say....de OBVIOUS answer is NO...i haven get a job yet. Hah...guess no company wants me at dis mmt. From being enthusiastic in going for interviews...till I seriously had NO mood to talk abt it. I seriously dun even want to talk abt any interviews I went or watsoeva. Guess....it came up to me dat...Evrytime i tel ppl..abt interviews..abt hw i did on interviews..and all eventually make me wait for A MONTH..and having NO response..make it all drained out. N evrytime I had plans to do Part time jobs..der will be call for interviews..and I had to wait for results.. Hah. So....im jus gonna stay Numb. With or without interviews....I shall jus be silent...until SOMEONE eventually say.." YOU"RE HIRED!" hahah.. so lets wait for DAT day.

Besides dat...I also learn to be silent in stuffs i did. Coz i guess....certain things are not meant to be heard or spoken in public. guess....close ones wld knw wats up or wats coming up with my life. Coz at dis mmt, I tend to jus be silent...Too much talking leads to something u dun want to happen. Hah. Lessons learnt. But its ok...its nvr too late to change.

But every sad/irritated mmts in our lives...will sometimes be reduced by someone special in ur heart. I seriously appreciate wat You did for me dat time...wen i seriously was in an EMERGENCY state. haha! N being der for me wen Im down...makes me feel better...nt forgetting my lovely family who alwys der to support wat i did.

These few days...had been a lil rough for me...with new news..and updates abt certain things. Emotions up n down...and guess...someone knws hw to lighten it up..even with a simple sentence early morning. As most knw...hw He is..he is not someone who says mushy2 stuffs like ME. hahah..and to have such thing early morning..reali make my day up. Even if he may nt be here in person...those words are enough for me n him to knw.

Nwys...life must goes on..Lets just wait..and I reali hope ALLAH will grant my prayers soon. InsyaALLAH....AMIN~ Also prayers to my frens...may dey alwys be in a fine happy life and lovely ppl ard dem. :)

P.S: I wanna be like SITI~!!! hahaha..ook random...ignore me. heheheh...

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Messed up?? Dun tink so....

It was a weird feeling...an unexpected feeling..as well as funny feeling for her. After what she had said...it so called ended up the way she din expect it to be. But she was fine with it...just dat she was a lil disturbed by de fact that 'A' did dat due to de specific reason which eventually makes her feel confused. Who is she to 'A'?? Weird feeling....but nvm..she let it be..since like wat 'A' says..there is no otr choices. She is fine...as long as de ones she needed are der.

Its weird...Now she knows whats up with de many surveys and questionnaires. Its merely anther reason...and not jus for enquiries. Its ok...oni some wld knw who are de one stating it first. She is fine...just dat she was a lil upset..coz its confusing with such statement. She dun blamed 'A'....coz she herslf dunno whats in de mind. Hah!

Though its not fully choppies....she just have to wait. Once its being 'stamped'....guess its de next step ahead. Hmmm....seriously, she was nt expecting dis. She mainly pick carefully...as to NOT interupt certain things but nw its vice versa. hah! Its Ok...its Ok...SHe is fine...Just a lil tinge of curiosity.

From nw on....she shall just keep numb. Better dis way....den expose all and to be treated in such a way. Even if its nt gonna happen..which she wont knw...it gives a mark dat she is NOT someone whom she thinks she is to 'A". But wateva it is.....LESS EXPOSURE IS ALWYS BETTER.... :)